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I’m Not Lazy, I’m Just Very Relaxed
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Napping Is a Sport and I’m an Athlete
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Home Is Where My Cat Is
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Life Is Better With a Cat
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I Just Came Here to Fart
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Started Seeing Someone. As in Dating or Hallucinations
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Do All Things With Sarcasm
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Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid, but I’m Probably Going to Say Them Anyways
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My Mama Says I’m Cute
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I Have Two Names, One Is Mama
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I Have Two Names, One Is Mama the Other Is Wife
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Feminists Make the Best Sandwiches
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I Don’t Stalk I Investigate
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Shuh Duh Fuh Cup
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Fries Before Guys
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I Identify As Skinny
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Nap Queen
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Nap King
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Only Here for the Food
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Ringmaster of the Shit Show
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I Need a Six Month Vacation Twice a Year
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Some People Read Shirts. I Think You’re One of Them
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Nothing Brightens Up a Room Like Your Absence
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Don’t Let This Sweet Smile Fool You. I Secretly Want to Punch You in the Face
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